February 25, 2025
Last week, I posted about the sacredness of sex.
So this week, I’m inspired to continue with the topic of sex, namely, the potential cheapening of it.
If you’re a woman reading this, especially if you’re a married or soon-to-be-married woman, you may not want to tune out. It’s important to know what goes through a guy’s brain if he happens to be doing the majority of his thinking with that specific organ, which you’ll soon find out is not necessarily the case.
If you’re a guy, then definitely keep reading. It could save you a lot of trouble in the future.
Sex & The Traveling Businessman
Here’s the thing: I travel a LOT for work.
Whether teaching nutrition at a yoga clinic in South America, blasting onto a stage in a packed Vegas conference room, or (as is the case while I’m writing this) visiting nine cities in twelve days across India for entrepreneur health coaching, one of the major ways I bring home the bacon to feed my family is by spending plenty of time in airplanes and hotel rooms.
For much of that travel, I’m 100% solo.
That means I’m a married man traveling alone—with no wife, no wingman, and nearly nonexistent accountability—while also, due to my status as a public figure perceived as healthy, powerful, and influential, frequently encountering a plethora of attractive, aggressive women who make their intentions clear, whether through Instagram booty calls, not-so-subtle touches, or outright propositions to “get in my pants,” so to speak.
And that’s not even considering the endless access to pornography on my television and smartphone, available anytime without the need to sneak away or hide.
After all, as I mentioned, I’m usually alone.
As you can imagine, this constant sexual temptation is something I’ve had to learn to deal with gracefully and virtuously, specifically by keeping my pants on and my tongue in my own mouth.
Admittedly, there was a time when I didn’t do a good job dealing with it all. The flattery, the short-term pleasure, and the excuses to myself that a one-night stand isn’t really an emotionally attached or a long-term relationship left me coming home to my family several times after having been sexually unfaithful and having to hide my own lack of moral excellence for fear of being shamed.
Let me tell you, it’s about the worst feeling in the world to take your wife out on a date after a bout of travel escapades and try to shut down the mental scream inside your head that you’ve cheated on the innocent and trusting life partner sitting across from you.
It’s also shattering, as a hypocritical father, to lecture your sons about faithfulness while imagining them growing up to be just like you—violating their relationship with their own wives and families.
It’s also important to note that the few seconds of pleasure derived from a short-term hookup are never, ever, ever worth it. You basically hate yourself afterward. It’s horrible, and it’s never fulfilling.
Ever.
Considering this is a big problem that tears families apart, destroys legacy, and implodes home life, it’s something that you need to deeply care about if you’re a married man or future married man reading this, especially if you travel often like I do. I suspect I can’t be the only married guy out there who has to navigate this path.
But, if you’re still reading at this point, you probably already know that the classic infidelity of the traveling businessman is a big problem.
While it’s certainly important to understand the chaos that unfaithfulness, whether in analog or digital form, wreaks upon your closest, dearest relationships, it’s just as important to understand what exactly to do about it.
So, that’s what I’m going to share now: seven practical tips, from the trenches, on how I have—by the grace of God—developed a thick-skinned resilience to sexual immorality, how I’ve transformed my relationship with my wife through over a decade of dedicated faithfulness, and how you can too.
1. Pray
God doesn’t want you to cheat.
While Romans 5:3-5 says that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character, this doesn’t mean God is haphazardly tossing temptations your way with no way of escape, all while rubbing His hands together and waiting for you to succumb to inevitable demise. The Bible says that God will not tempt you beyond your ability and that He will provide a way out of temptation. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”
Furthermore, Matthew 26:41 says, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
It’s painfully obvious, isn’t it? Be aware and pray when you know temptation is coming at you.
This is easier said than done. You can’t exactly drop to your knees at a cocktail party when a gorgeous woman in a slinky, short skirt is stroking your arm—telling you with her lips how much she admires what you’ve accomplished while telling you with her eyes that she’d like to accomplish something for you herself.
I’ll tell you exactly what works for me in a situation like this: I excuse myself to a corner of the bar, duck behind a curtain, or slip into a bathroom stall and say one simple prayer that just works. It’s called “the Jesus prayer.”
“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
This works like magic. You can almost feel the sexual demons slipping away when you say it. Jesus understands. He’s been there. Hebrews 4:15 says, “He was tempted in every way that we are, but he did not sin.”
And sure, you should maintain a constant state of prayer that goes deeper than just a single sentence. But when you’re in a pinch—your lust accelerating to full speed, your body betraying you, and you need a desperate call for Christ who strengthens you—this is the prayer to have memorized. I use it often.
2. Empathize
Anytime I’m tempted to invite a woman into my hotel room or pull up porn on my laptop, I imagine how I’d feel if I walked in on my wife doing the same thing.
Put yourself in her shoes.
Yes, the next time you feel like masturbating to porn, ask yourself how you would feel if you walked in on her in the bedroom pleasuring herself to some random dude on the screen of her smartphone with his pants pulled down.
Or let’s say a woman at the hotel bar, or maybe two, asks what you’re up to later and what your room number is. Sure, this sounds like a fantastic time, but how would you feel if you got home and walked in on your wife with one man underneath her and another behind her?
I throw up in my mouth just thinking about a dude or two banging my wife. So how is it any different for me to entertain the idea of doing the same thing with women?
It doesn’t have to be as extreme as that. For example, should you want your wife talking to an alpha male at a conference afterparty the same way you’re standing in really, really close proximity to that woman batting her eyes at you? Would you want your wife getting a rub-down from a heartthrob male massage therapist? Would you want her giving side hugs, bear hugs, and back rubs to random dudes when she’s off on a trip?
So don’t do to her what you wouldn’t want done to you.
By the way, although I do prefer the tender touch of a female massage therapist, I always choose the ugly or really old ones if I need some deep tissue work when I’m on the road.
3. Sleep
Sometimes you just gotta get your ass to sleep. The later you stay at an after-party, the crazier it gets. The later you hang out at the bar or restaurant, the more desperate and aggressive the opposite sex acts. The later you stay awake in your hotel room, the more appealing free porn becomes.
When it comes to both morality and productivity, I live by the mentality that ‘more good things happen in the morning than in the evening.’ In the morning, you read, pray, work, stretch, exercise, and drink coffee. In the evening, you eat, make small talk, consume entertainment, lounge around, or sit too much—and often, you drink alcohol.
So go to sleep, already.
Again, it’s easier said than done, right?
Here’s how I paint myself into a corner: when I walk into my hotel room, even if there’s FOMO brewing in my brain to go hit another party or an appealing text on my phone from some hottie I met a few hours earlier, I immediately implement smart sleep hygiene principles, namely:
- Turn the temperature down as low as it goes.
- Put your phone and computer in night mode and/or airplane mode.
- Pop your sleep cocktail of choice (not to get all commercialized here, but I do Kion Sleep + Element Health Max Strength CBD + a whopping sledgehammer of Mitozen Melatonin).
- Play some really relaxing sleep noise or a white noise sleep app.
- Get the room as dark as possible, and I mean really dark.
- Pull on a sleep mask, curl up in bed, and say your prayers.
Yes, I know if I were a real tough guy and a really strong Christian, I should be able to resist temptation through sheer prayer and a touch of willpower, without inducing a near-comatose sleep state.
But I’m just sharing what works for me.
4. Porn
You probably raised an eyebrow at that one, right?
No, I am not endorsing that you whip out your credit card and whip down your pants while justifying to yourself that at least you’re not cheating with a real human. The good of turning down analog sex doesn’t justify the ugliness of turning to digital sex.
I’m talking about wifey-porn, guys.
You know that “hidden” photo feature on your phone? It’s not just for storing a bank statement image or Bitcoin passphrase screenshots.
Consider politely asking your wife to do a photo shoot for you.
To use a modern day catchphrase I’m not in love but will get the message across: a “really dirty” one.
Tell her your favorite poses, positions, and fantasies, then let her go to town and text or Airdrop you everything. Feel free to add a bit more to your spouse’s spank bank arsenal when you’re making love with her (tip: use a tripod if you don’t want to kill the vibe by cradling your phone in one hand and her in the other). If your religious or spiritual convictions make you question whether wifey porn is right, take a look at the softcore poetry in the Bible’s Song of Solomon for some inspiration.
Then, the next time you’ve been on a road trip for a few days and have blue balls, or you need to have nothing on your mind but her, open that hidden photo folder and proceed to have a really, really good time with yourself.
And not to be painfully obvious, but if you use this strategy, please don’t share your phone passcode with your kids. You do not want them trying to erase those images from their memory while mom is making them breakfast in the kitchen.
P.S. Do share your phone passcode with your wife. She should be able to see all your texts, calls, browser history, etc. whenever she likes. That too will help keep you behaving.
5. Exercise
Sure, your natural testosterone levels when away from your spouse coupled with your pent-up sexual vigor can be a potent combination to make you ultra-horny.
But that doesn’t mean that extra energy needs to be directed towards sex or jacking off. It also doesn’t mean you should try to tie a rubber band around your testicles or hunt down some kind of libido-decreasing herb.
Instead, there’s nothing like a good workout routine, especially a soul-crushing, death-defying bout that leaves lactic acid bleeding out of your ears, to make you a bit more calm and better behaved later on.
As a matter of fact, my workout routine on the road is very dedicated and really hard. I never skip a beat because it serves as a cathartic tension release—and from experience, I can tell you that it considerably turns down the lust dial.
For example, on an average road trip, I’ll alternate between:
- Push day (overhead press, bench press, push-up, squat, leg press, etc.).
- Pull day (pull-up, pull-down, row, deadlift, etc.).
- Core/cardio day (rowing machine, treadmill, bike, planks, leg raises, etc.).
I recommend having a detailed plan like mine put together before you even arrive at your final destination. Paired with making things as frictionless as possible by having your workout clothes and shoes laid out for you next to the bed and a strong cup of coffee within arm’s reach, you’ll be able to direct some of that “life force” towards muscle-building instead of home-wrecking.
6. Call-A-Friend
Sometimes, things get really tough, and it feels like you can’t handle it alone with just you and God. Sometimes, you need a friend to step in and warn you before you charge headfirst into disaster—kind of like a rutting male elk, so driven by instinct instead of wisdom that he doesn’t realize he’s about to walk straight into a hunting blind.
It’s those times for which you need a digital wingman from afar—a guy friend with whom you can share your most embarrassing thoughts and vulnerable tendencies.
This is the friend who you can text or call whenever you need and who understands you and gets it when you call him at 11:18 pm on a Saturday night sweating bullets because you almost made a mistake that could cost you half your assets and no more Christmas with your in-laws.
You think that’s too humiliating?
Look: all of us guys go through the same struggles that you do. The problem is, we just don’t talk about it with each other. But we’ve all thought and experienced the same things, except maybe that Ned Flanders-esque friend who seems like he somehow left his libido in sixth grade.
Guest Emeal Zwayne on The Dad Edge podcast eloquently described this idea of men being embarrassed to share their sexual struggles and temptations with other men. His book, Fight Like A Man, goes into much more depth on this topic than this brief article and is worth a read, especially if you need a really detailed, well-written handbook for personal purity.
So, open up to a buddy. Be vulnerable—whether it’s asking him to pray for you to quit going down the slippery Instagram softcore-to-Internet-porn-hardcore rabbit hole or to check in on you every day until you’re back home to make sure you stay faithful. Trust me, he’d want you to do the same for him, and this kind of raw, honest, radical transparency is what deepens the bonds of male friendship.
7. Build Legacy
This last tip is by far the most powerful for me.
Two years ago, while in India, I was interviewed by entrepreneur Mukesh Bansal. The discussion turned to anti-aging, longevity, and—as such discussions often do—eventually progressed into the idea of whether I thought human immortality was attainable.
I said “Yes.”
And I didn’t mean that I figured we’d eventually decode cryopreservation of our brains and repeatedly implant them into a fresh new body over and over again, in perpetuity. Nor did I mean that I anticipate that one day soon we could mainline designer drugs into our bloodstream to turn back the clock forever. Nor was I even referring to the immortality attained through Christian salvation.
Instead, I described how a man’s offspring allows that man’s principles, philosophies, goals, dreams, and desires to be carried out by subsequent generations who happen to bear his genes and last name.
This is one reason legacy is so, so important in the Greenfield home. We have a family mission statement, a family set of core values, a family logo, a family crest, and a family constitution. Heck, we even have the Greenfield family flags flying proudly outside the front door, the Greenfield family logo on the big sign at the end of the driveway, and Greenfield family pickleball paddles, pepper grinder, cup coasters, throw pillows, hoodies, and hats we wear for a night out on the town. Woven into our yearly traditions and daily comings and goings is the sense that we are a strong family unit with a shared belief and purpose and that by working together as a cohesive pack we can actually affect long-term positive change in the world.
Maybe this is why men who become fathers experience a slight decrease in testosterone. It’s as though we have a built-in braking system on our natural propensity to sow our seeds far and wide so that we can instead focus on providing for and protecting our family—so that we can, in a way, live on forever through our lineage.
Obviously, however, there’s still more than enough testosterone in the average family man to make sexual sin a tormenting reality. But when there’s an urge to cheat, to weaken the bonds of a spousal relationship with porn, to give up and walk away from family life because it’s just too complex and challenging, or to fly free like your horny internal bird sometimes wants to, there’s nothing like a strong sense of legacy to keep your feet firmly grounded.
What do you choose, and what seems more appealing? The long-term reward of this kind of “immortality” built through generational legacy…
…or the short-term pleasure of a thirty-second orgasm?
Don’t fret if your children are already teenagers, you don’t have a family constitution, and purpose and legacy don’t feel like they’re a remotely significant part of your family. After all, the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago, or today. If you want to learn more about building generational wealth, listen to my podcast interview with Rich Christiansen or read my book Boundless Parenting.
Summary
OK, a quick review here.
First, pray. Pray a lot when you travel, but have some short prayers memorized for when the blood flow seems to be getting directed away from your brain and towards your crotch.
Second, empathize. Put yourself in her shoes.
Third, know how to induce yourself into a comatose-like sleep state.
Fourth, have your wife supply you with some really sexy photos and videos of her, preferably explicit enough to leave nothing to your imagination.
Fifth, exercise. Redirect energy.
Sixth, have a wingman.
Seventh, and most importantly, build the kind of legacy that makes cheating seem to pale in comparison to generation-building.
So there you have it.
That’s how I don’t cheat when I travel.
Of course, I’m not perfect. I’m no know-it-all. There are things I don’t do yet that I probably should and things I left out of this article I probably shouldn’t have.
So, what questions do you have, and what tips do you have for the guys out there who want to stay faithful?
Additionally, here are a few other great resources you can dig into on the topic on sex, intimacy, and connection:
- Best of Intimacy and Biohacking Sex: Optimize Libido, Orgasm Enhancement, Thrust In Time, Better Erections Naturally, Breathwork & More.
- How to Improve Your Sex Life: 12 Biohacks for Better Orgasms, Sexual Health & Intimacy
