As soon as the police arrived, the Kontinental Kat and I handed over the note and told Inspector Magic all we knew. Granted, that was not much. Nor would it have been very constructive for the police but it seemed the black Persian needed our help anyway.
“What happened here?” He took a long, hard, suspicious-filled look at my Boss.
“That . . .” The Kontinental Kat pointed to the Ginger Tom frozen in the ice. “I’ve been informed, is Lord Duffus. Lady Duffus hired us to find him. He’d gone missing and she was worried about him. Seems she had a right to be.” My Boss continued.
Captain Stars and Stripes meowed up, “He killed himself. Let me inform his wife that he’s been found and is deceased. We have a ‘special’ relationship.”
“If you don’t need us, we’ll go too.” The Kontinental Kat made to leave.
“Oh, no!” Inspector Magic stopped my Boss. “You stay here.” As he let the hairless Tom go, I stood next to the Kontinental Kat.
“What should I do?” I whispered.
“Go question the others. Find out what they know about the Lord.” The chubby, black cat ordered quietly.
I shot off in the direction of my Savoy as I overheard Inspector Magic question my Boss, “What does this note mean?”
Relief flooded through me as I clapped eyes on Savoy meowing with a handsome Persian. It was P. C. Pumps! And, if I’m not mistaken . . . and I rarely am concerning such things . . . he was flirting with my Belovéd!
I drew near them and gave forth a bit of a hack. If this Don Juan was going to try to steal my girl, I intended to put up a fight for her.
Pumpkin bolted like a scared kitten.
“What the Floof are you doing?” Savoy flickered her ears at me.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. “Why is it, everywhere you go, you attract the Toms?” I could not contain the jealousy I felt.
“Listen, Bub . . . I’ll attract whoever I like.” Savoy’s tail fur began to puff up.
I stopped instantly. I did not want this situation to escalate. I, slowly, backed off. Giving her a minute to settle back down, I re-approached her and asked, “How well did you know, Lord Duffus?”
Before Savoy could blast me for my jealous nature again, a few of the other feline athletes joined us and a lovely Ginger and white answered, “He was a bully.”
“And he lied all the time . . . Couldn’t believe a meow out of his mouth.” An all white feline added.
“I do know that he used to hoard all the treats, as well.” Savoy meowed.
“He kept treats away from you?!” I was appalled. I mean, no one likes treats more than I do, (except maybe my Boss) but we were always willing to share especially with the ladies. This was crazy behaviour.
“Lord Duffus never paid his bills. My Tomfurriend did some work on the arena, 5 months ago, and we can’t get married until the Lord pays up. He has . . . ‘had’ no intention of doing so. LD, even, refused to pay the workers here. It was so bad they were threatening to go on strike! But he had his henchman come in and browbeat them back to work.” A pretty, domestic tuxedo contributed to the denigration of Lord Duffus.
I don’t like to think evil of the deceased but this Tom seemed vile. “Who was this henchman of his?” I asked.
All five cats turned to look to the manager’s office where Captain Stars and Stripes exited with Lady Duffus, laughing their heads off.
*********
Fortunately, the Kontinental Kat came back to the gym and the felines reiterated their stories about Lord Duffus.
“Where’s the Captain now?” He asked.
“Probably, sniffing around Lady Duffus . . .” Savoy meowed.
“They went this way.” I pointed towards a door leading to the upstairs offices. We made our way up and came to a long hallway. Traipsing down the hall, we stopped at the last door from which we could hear the sound of heated yowling.
The Kontinental Kat burst in, followed closely by myself. There on the floor, was Lady Duffus with Captain Stars and Stripes on her back, biting her neck and ears.
“What the . . . ?” I uttered.
I saw the two of them leap apart like they had been scalded, before the Kontinental Kat clamped his paw over my eyes for a minute. Then he released his grip from my sight.
“How can I help you?” Lady Duffus recovered her equilibrium first and began to preen.
“You know what happened to your husband, down there, don’t you?” The Kontinental Kat was flummoxed by their disrespectful display.
“Yes . . . Yes . . . He always was a drama Queen. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to rein in his overreactions . . .” Lady Duffus seemed oblivious to his demise. “I may have to cancel the games.” She added.
“No!” Both, myself and Captain Stars and Stripes yowled. For much different reasons though.
“You can’t cancel the Games. I’m the favourite for Gold again. And just think what catching the red dot will mean . . . ? I’ll be famous and you will be the envy of every feline for just being near me.” The hairless Tom placed an arm around the ‘not so’ grieving widow.
“How long have you two been having an affair?” The Kontinental Kat glanced from one to the other.
The hairless cat refused to give in to shame. He began to snarl at us. Lady Duffus gave the Captain a calming lick on the head and confronted us boldly, “I’ve decided that there is a conflict of interest here. So, I’ll be hiring another detective agency to find my husband’s killer.” Lady Duffus put on a false show of sadness.
“We’ll send you our bill.” The Kontinental Kat called her bluff.
“I’m only going to pay the agency who finishes the job and gets the killer.” Apparently, Lady Duffus was a tougher business-feline than her mafia boss, husband.
*********
The Red Dot Games began despite the turmoil surrounding them. I made it, all the way, to the semifinals but my opponent turned out to be the one cat, I did not want to face . . . Yes, you guessed it . . . Savoy! I tried my hardest but her cluster-dot training did me in. I lost.
Fortunately, I still had one last match against an unruly tabby who was more interested in treats than the red dot. I earned myself the bronze medal. Neither one of us caught the red dot but I laid paws on it, twice as often.
We all watched the final match with interest. Savoy against Captain Stars and Stripes. Although, my Belovéd was (if you’ll pardon the expression . . .) the ‘underdog’ . . . I was set to cheer her on with every fur of my body. It was a hard-fought contest. Savoy played the red dot game of her life but, in the end, Captain Stars and Stripes came out the victor.
During the medal ceremonies, we stood on the podium either side of the Captain and had to listen to his unsportsmanlike rhetoric about how great he was.
Finally, my Love had had enough and after the National anthem played, she put him in his place with, “It’s one thing to be a ‘sore loser’ but it’s an entirely different level of depravity to be a ‘sore winner’. You, Sir, dishonour felines across the world!”
I wanted to do add my opinion of his soulless behaviour too. So, I cut him deep, with my eloquent, “Ditto!” I hope that stung him!
Savoy and I took our medals to Feline House in order to celebrate our excellent showing at these Games. All our furriends were there and even the Kontinental Kat, whom I thought might miss the match due to work, joined us, despite being preoccupied with Lord Duffus’ note. He poured over it as the rest of us got stuck into the Niptini’s.
Then the Captain showed up. No one had gone to his victory party so he thought he would put a bit of a dampener on ours. We did our best to keep the fun going anyway.
With the party in full swing and without warning, a scream was heard. We all rushed to the stairs. Lying at the bottom, was none other than Lady Duffus. Dead!
*********
Inspector Magic and P. C. Pumps showed up within minutes. The Kontinental Kat had a quick meow with the Inspector and before anyfur knew it, P. C. Pumpkin slapped the cuffs on Captain Stars and Stripes.
*********
At the office, the next day, I had to ask the Kontinental Kat just what had gone on. I know I’m new to this detecting lark and the mental aspect of the job is not my strongest point, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure any of it out. I asked, “Why was Captain Stars and Stripes arrested, Boss?”
“He did it.” Was the answer.
“Did what?” I wanted specifics.
“Captain Stars and Stripes has confessed. He buried Lord Duffus in the ice, for Lady Duffus. You saw for yourself that they were an item.”
I nodded.
The Kontinental Kat continued to explain, “He’s, also, the one who pushed Lady Duffus down the stairs.”
“But why? If he loved her . . . ?” This did not make much sense to me.
“Because she refused to stand by him as the Red Dot King of the World. She had no intention of pawing over the prize treats that were owed to the Gold medalist. He realized that it was her who was behind the cruel business practices. He’s really an insecure kitten who acts with bravado to hide his weaknesses. He’s a pathetic excuse for a feline. He, finally, had to act and he picked Lady Duffus to show how Tomly he is by throwing her down the stairs.”
“So, he killed Lord Duffus in order to impress Lady Duffus, then turned on her, as well?” I did my best to follow this odd logic.
“Actually, he didn’t kill the Lord.” The Kontinental Kat stated.
“But you just meowed . . . ?” I was confused again.
“I said, he ‘buried’ him in the ice.” My Boss corrected. “Lord Duffus told us everything in the note, they forced him to write.” He added.
“What the Floof . . . ?”
The Kontinental Kat handed me a note. “You remember the note we found on the ice? It was written in code.”
“And you broke the code?” I was impressed.
“Yep. At the end of the note, in brackets was (ALL CAPS). I took all the capital letters from the note and it spelled out . . .
“Holy Smokes!! There was nothing wrong with my Boss’ brain!” I sat back in admiration. I’d never be able to replace the Kontinental Kat.
The End.
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