B. took over the running of the team while I took a crash course in skating and how to play hockey. B. Ver held open try-outs which I heard went well.
A lot of my pals heard the rallying call and came to help. (It did my heart good to know that I could count on so many. Even if they were just here to support the Joy Of Cats team.
Finally, team Joy Of Cats came together for our first practise. B. had us stretching, puck handling and doing skating drills! 🙀🙀
“Since Savoy and Misha fall less, skating backwards, than the rest of you, they will play defence. It’s your job to keep the puck out of our zone and/or stop the enemy forwards from getting to our goalie. Me!” B. told my Savoy and Ms. Misha.
The ladies high-fired each other which was not an easy thing to do with hockey gloves on. They fell to the ice. Then B. put us all through our paces again. I have to admit the hardest part, for me, was skating up and down the pond without tripping.
“Can something be done about the ice conditions? The forwards keep falling! I’m sure this doesn’t happen in the NHL!” Savoy came to my rescue. My Belovéd and I were so in tuned!
B. shook his head and blew his whistle. We all gathered around him, at centre ice, waiting for more words of wisdom. “Take a break. I’ll have Tabitha get the Zamboni out.” And he blew his whistle again.
Ms. Misha raised her paw. “What’s a Zamboni?” She asked.
Savoy and I groaned. It seemed we were the only ones who knew. Then as if on cue, Tabitha, our back-up goalie’s sisfur, came onto the ice driving the machine to clear the surface.
As Tabitha drove by us, she threw a kiss my way. I, immediately, turned a guilty look towards Savoy. She met my eye and I blinked back at her to show my true feelings. She remained stone faced.
“How much longer are we going to be practising? My fur is a mess in this helmet.” Freda asked.
She was playing right wing and had a wicked slap shot but her looks were important too. Rumour had it, she was looking forward to another litter.
“We’re here until B. tells us we can go.” Furgus, our centre and captain, answered enthusiastically. “We’ve got to defeat Team Oligarch and get Team Joy Of Cats back on Twitter.” He reiterated what was at stake.
The team all looked at each other with a good bit of disbelief and fear.
“Don’t worry everyone . . . We do have a secret weapon. If things become too dire, we’ll pull out the Big Guns!” I murmured enigmatically. They did not know what I knew.
“In the mean time, we fight with everything we have.” Furgus stepped up. Then his skates went out from under him and he fell.
We all, laughingly, helped him up. I put my paw forward, meowing, “All for one, and one for all!” Everyone repeated the phrase. Rocky’s skate slid into mine and we all toppled over again, like dominoes this time. No matter how serious this game was, we still had time for a laugh.
*********
Game Day came along quicker than any of us expected. But here we were . . . When Team Oligarch hit the ice we could all feel the tension. They had a Boston Terrier as centre and two brown bear forwards, an East Siberian on left wing and an Eurasian on right. They had two Alaskan huskies on defence and their goalie was a massive Russian polar bear. They were a formidable foe. In fact, the best that money could buy, which was the point, I suppose? The Muskrat took his place behind their bench.
Before the puck dropped Team Joy Of Cats met at our bench for a quick pep talk and last minutes instructions. B., in his goalie gear said, “They may be big and strong, but we have something they will never have . . .” B. looked each of us in the eye. “ . . . unselfish team work!” B. Spoke quietly, calmly and with determination.
“We can do this . . .” Furgus meowed.
“Let’s play with everything we have!” Ms. Misha added.
“We’ll make them look bad!” Freda checked her fur in a pocket mirror then placed it behind the bench.
“They’ll be sorry they started this fight.” Savoy reasoned.
“The Joy Of Cats will be back!” I insisted.
“Team work!” Even our back-up goalie, Rocky, was on board.
The game began.
Not many are prepared for how fast a hockey game is. The fans at this game especially Angels Fairy and Cheeky were left breathless from waving their pompoms every time Team JOC circled the net.
Unfortunately, the first 19 minutes and 50 seconds had resulted in no score. But with seconds on the clock, I made my way to the Oligarch’s zone and managed to duck and dive my way to their net. Their polar bear goalie growled at me and I could feel the heat of foul bear breath on my neck from the Siberian and Eurasian, skating quickly behind me. Pulling my stick back for a blistering slap shot, I lost my balance and the ‘slap shot’ turned into a ‘trickle shot’.
But the change in velocity fooled everyone and the puck crossed the line for a goal! The buzzer went as we all celebrated. We had scored!
*********
With the first period over and us in the lead, the second period began on a high note. I noticed my brofur, Zen, in the stands with the cheerleaders and took it as a good sign. He may be needed later.
I grabbed the water bottle to keep hydrated then passed it along to my teammates. I don’t know about the others, but I thought the water had an odd smell. In fact, the next water bottle that was handed around had a strange taste to it too.
As soon as the puck dropped our team seemed to have even more trouble skating. I know that my legs refused to go in the direction I wanted them to.
The Eurasian brown bear shoved Furgus to the ice when he skated into our corner, stole the puck and took a shot at B.’s head. Our goalie ducked, naturally, and the puck went in! We were tied.
About two minutes later, number 99 on the Oligarch’s team, tripped Savoy to allow his teammate, the Boston terrier, a free lane to the net. They scored by blocking B.’s view. We were down 2-1 after the second period.
*********
I don’t want to make excuses but in the locker room between periods, we found that our water bottles had been tampered with. They were full of Nip Vodka and Tennessee Nipsky. We were being purposely sabotaged! If these players for the captain of industry were going to resort to cheating than our defeat of them would be sweet. We had the power to take them down. We all sobered up with plenty of Non-Tariffo coffee from Brazil and we were ready to go.
Being down by a goal opened the game up in the third and last period. We crashed the boards and followed the puck like it was the red dot. Each one of us went full out. There was nothing to hold us back.
Team Oligarch began to get sloppy. They resorted to nefarious means. Especially, the Eurasian brown bear. He began a campaign of flirting with my Savoy. I kept her in my sights. If he started anything, I would finish it.
The clock began to wind down and we still hadn’t scored. Then with 30 seconds left on the clock, Savoy managed to clear the blue line and pass the puck to Furgus who deked through their defence and got in front of the net. The puck shot out of the traffic and I jumped on it. I went out wide and tossed it at the net. Furgus found it through his skates. He managed to get his stick on the puck, through his legs and he scored!
The fans went wild and we celebrated the tie. The Eurasian bear stopped Savoy from joining us by helping her up and paw-handling her. I skated over to them and shoved him away. We circled each other, he made disparaging remarks about Savoy and I threw down my gloves. I refused to put up with his growling. We went at it!
Within the scuffle, I pulled his shirt over his head and whaled away at him. Luckily, a couple of the refs stepped in to stop the fracas. But I got a penalty and a game misconduct for fighting. I was out of the game.
*********
There was still 15 seconds left and we were down a man. On my way to the dressing room, I had a meow with Zen. He went off as I entered the dressing room and waited for the outcome. I feared the game was lost because of me.
When the others joined me, after the third period had ended, I found we had withstood the flurry of their power play and were still in the game. Despite the fact that B. had had one of his buck teeth knocked out and Freda had been tossed into a hole in the ice.
“Sorry, everyone. I, just, couldn’t let that brute accost Savoy any longer.” I apologized profusely.
“They think they can act however they want! Their dirty plays will not aid them. We intend to win this.” Furgus stepped forward and showed more determination than I’d seen since he first laid eyes on Ms. Misha.
I looked to B. “Can you go on?” I asked.
B. stood up but wobbled. His uneven teeth threw his balance off. “Looks like Rocky will have to step in.”
We all glanced at the terrified Rocky.
“You can do this!” Ms. Misha told him gently.
When we all chipped in with encouragement, he regained his confidence.
B. took charge again and said, “Remember, next goal wins in OT.”
Freda came forward meowing, “I don’t think I can go on. My fur is soaked and I’m freezing to death.”
This news took the wind out of our sails. “We’re never going to be able to score if we’re two men down.” Everyone on Team JOC hung their heads including me.
“Remember . . . You have a secret weapon . . .”
Our collective heads rose. Entering the locker room was my brofur, Zen. He stood aside and allowed Patches to come in dressed in her hockey gear.
Patches walked into the room with a lit nip-doobie and adjusted her elbow pads. “Elbows Up, Dudes!”
*********
Overtime began with a flurry, in front of our net. Patches skated around giving the Oligarch’s a gentle reminder that she was in the area by introducing her elbows to their faces.
But after only 45 seconds, the East Siberian took a wicked wrist shot and it got through everyone including Rocky. The Oligarch’s had scored! We lost the game! And The Joy Of Cats was no longer allowed back on Twitter.
End of Part IV
*Oh, the tragedy! Oh, the ignominy! Oh, the loss of humour! Could this be the permanent end of the Joy Of Cats? Find out next week!
*Don’t allow writing or comedy to become a dying art. If my work entertains and/or amuses you and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
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